Midnight Dagger

 An apology for the Mantle's behavior By the Crown Well, hello everyone. As you remember, the Mantle published a ferocious article attacking Zebra as an idiot. This was in response to an article by the Portvalatvian Times, which can be found here . Of course, Zebra is proud of being an idiot, and that is the centerpiece of his campaign. But it is still insulting, if you believe the Portvalatvian Times. So, here is an explanation for it. First, you must understand the situation. The Mantle went hunting last Tuesday, and he didn't get any sleep. Being rather tired, and about to go to bed, suddenly there was a knock on the door, and the mailman delivered the Portvalatvian Times at 11:00. The Mantle was very angry indeed, but more so when he saw the top headline, which was about Zebra's speech. When he saw the speech, he was so blown away by its alleged stupidity, that he simply had to publish an article on the Midnight Dagger for it. In that article, he ridiculed Zebra's b...

Bear Wins. By The Hat He's done it. Bear, after one of the most entertaining, annoying, delightful, joyful, and horrific campaigns in history, has swept the landscape. The savanna voters, who, as we know, have a great love for tradition, have overwhelmingly voted for Bear. The Ant Empire literally overran the polls with Bear Ballots, so that they ran out of room for them all. The Beetle Coalition, in conjugation with the Monastery of Butterflies and the Commonwealth of Bees, have all swarmed the polls, from all sides. The Waterfall's Throne, which previously almost always voted for Mr. Nekro, now voted for Bear 90% to 9%, with 1% going to Oscar. The Mountains, with its Dragons and many other creatures, have voted exclusively for Bear. Even the reptiles, including the snakes, have voted for Bear. Most entertaining of all, Port City, due to Mr. Nekro's "hypocrisy," voted 40% for Bear, 20% for Zebra (wonder of wonders!) and 15% for Mr. Nekro, as well as 5% for Oscar....

  Mr. Nekro is Bad By Tiger  Mr. Nekro is bad,  and it is kind of sad Mr. Nekro has bad policy,  and it is quite an atrocity. I don't mean to be rude,  but I'm not in a good mood. Mr. Nekro is annoying,  and if you find this poem boring, Just bear with me,  And you will see,  Mr. Nekro is bad, And it is quite sad.

Bear is Bad By Tiger  Bear is bad,  and it is kind of sad Bear has bad policy,  and it is quite an atrocity. I don't mean to be rude,  but I'm not in a good mood. Bear is annoying,  and if you find this poem boring, Just bear with me,  And you will see,  Bear is bad, And it is quite sad. Edit: we accidently published Mr. Nekro's version, which criticized Bear instead. Sorry about that. 

 The Lunchtime Eagle By the Umbrella It’s a familiar scene, isn’t it. You are a grand and noble soldier, or a knight of old, with sword and shield in hand and with the fierce allure of battle upon you (or, to be more precise, on top of you), enriched with the history of a thousand and two years, charging atop your mostly loyal steed, about to deal the furious blow that will change your as of now bleak fortunes, and spire you into the glorious prospect of gaining praise and honor for your hard-mustered valour. You spot your sworn enemy, atop his horse, and are just about to bring down your blade and cleave off clean his head, your eyes flashing, your heart beating, your mind swirling with such giddyish ideas of defeating your enemy once and for all, when suddenly… “Lunch time!” And…all hope is lost. And all glorious thoughts are rudely escorted out of the premises of your poor mind. And now, you have to stop what you’re doing, sullenly get off your steed, and tell your until-now swo...

 Hunter should be impeached because hunter is far too quiet. It is a leader's duty to inspire, to encourage, and to rally his countrymen to do great things. Unfortunately, Hunter's excessive quietness means that he lacks the charisma to fulfill the duties of a leader, especially one as important as he is.