Midnight Dagger

   In the grand fortress of Wind's Door, above the second flight of stairs, is a great room of Stone. Stone benches surround the room. Atop these benches, mossy blankets are placed, and the Five Authors of the Midnight Dagger, as well as Admiral Zebra, take their seats. Lion:  Hello, everyone. We have with us over here Zebra, second chief junior petty admiral officer superior of the Royal petty chief Coastguard of Port City. He is the first and third person to hold that title, after his cousin, who was the second person to hold such a title. He also has a degree of propaganda from Porvalavis. As well as this, he was personally tutored by Sargus the Perplexed Himself, receiving the Award of Stupidity and Idiocy.  Let us introduce ourselves. I am Lionel Leonard Lionheart the Third, the First Lord of the Admiralty. I hold the world record for PhDs, topping fifty-five last month. I have a degree in political science from the University of Port City (before its downfall) ...

  Mr. Nekro is Bad By Tiger  Mr. Nekro is bad,  and it is kind of sad Mr. Nekro has bad policy,  and it is quite an atrocity. I don't mean to be rude,  but I'm not in a good mood. Mr. Nekro is annoying,  and if you find this poem boring, Just bear with me,  And you will see,  Mr. Nekro is bad, And it is quite sad.

Bear is Bad By Tiger  Bear is bad,  and it is kind of sad Bear has bad policy,  and it is quite an atrocity. I don't mean to be rude,  but I'm not in a good mood. Bear is annoying,  and if you find this poem boring, Just bear with me,  And you will see,  Bear is bad, And it is quite sad. Edit: we accidently published Mr. Nekro's version, which criticized Bear instead. Sorry about that. 

On the top of the Jumblie Tree, in an eagle's nest, Fiatauroratale Finitus sat down with Tigertus Tiberius, the Second Lord of the Admiralty. Fireflies fluttered past, and bioluminescent butterflies gently floated around them. Down beneath a canopy of stars, with tree branches for walls, and a soft nest, they had an interview. Tiger : Good Midnight, Finitus. I hope you are doing well. Well enough, at least, to survive long enough for me to interview you. Finitus : Indeed, Tiger. I am doing quite well, in a rather impatient way. Please begin. I have a dozen other interviews to accomplish. Tiger : Yes of course. We will begin. Let us start with the most controversial part. They have called you an authoritarian imperialist. Do you deny it? Finitus : Who is they? And what business have they in calling me an authoritarian? Tiger : The people who are now calling for your denouncement. Finitus : Oh, those people. I see. Well, my only response is that if they can't tell the differenc...

 By Tiger, the Second Lord of the Admiralty. Let us begin with what you can call a SWOT analysis: strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. First, strengths. Archin Canyon is very well known for its resilience, its hardiness, and its fighting ability. They have one of the largest militaries in the world. They are also known for their independence. As for weaknesses, they are rather divided, with each region vying for itself, and a possible Northern or Western Cession, with the East and South trying to reel them back in. I also note that the south is practically defenseless. They are completely against military, weapons, and more. Of course, I believe that the patriotism of the North compensates, but the South is right next to the Bridge, which may be one of the most important strategic locations geopolitically. I will also point out another main weakness: they are easily offended and reactive and may order a ground invasion of a close ally that forgot to condemn their enem...