Midnight Dagger

 Church, State, and Market A library examination In all of human history, there have been certain power organizations that have helped restrain or control society. Three very important ones are the State, the Church, and the Private sector. Interestingly, the separation of these three things only occurred a long time later. The concept of a transcendent God meant that Spiritual authority could not be vested in a ruler, except if it came directly from God. The separation of the private sector came later. The progression is fascinating. Let us examine it: 1.       Combined sectors. Originally, each king was a “god-king,” and they controlled their city’s economies, spiritual life, and pretty much everything else. They were the sons of the gods, and all things belonged to them. 2.       God’s system for Israel instituted private property. It also made the Priests and the Kings separate, and often restraining to each other. 3....

Bear Wins. By The Hat He's done it. Bear, after one of the most entertaining, annoying, delightful, joyful, and horrific campaigns in history, has swept the landscape. The savanna voters, who, as we know, have a great love for tradition, have overwhelmingly voted for Bear. The Ant Empire literally overran the polls with Bear Ballots, so that they ran out of room for them all. The Beetle Coalition, in conjugation with the Monastery of Butterflies and the Commonwealth of Bees, have all swarmed the polls, from all sides. The Waterfall's Throne, which previously almost always voted for Mr. Nekro, now voted for Bear 90% to 9%, with 1% going to Oscar. The Mountains, with its Dragons and many other creatures, have voted exclusively for Bear. Even the reptiles, including the snakes, have voted for Bear. Most entertaining of all, Port City, due to Mr. Nekro's "hypocrisy," voted 40% for Bear, 20% for Zebra (wonder of wonders!) and 15% for Mr. Nekro, as well as 5% for Oscar....

 The Lunchtime Eagle By the Umbrella It’s a familiar scene, isn’t it. You are a grand and noble soldier, or a knight of old, with sword and shield in hand and with the fierce allure of battle upon you (or, to be more precise, on top of you), enriched with the history of a thousand and two years, charging atop your mostly loyal steed, about to deal the furious blow that will change your as of now bleak fortunes, and spire you into the glorious prospect of gaining praise and honor for your hard-mustered valour. You spot your sworn enemy, atop his horse, and are just about to bring down your blade and cleave off clean his head, your eyes flashing, your heart beating, your mind swirling with such giddyish ideas of defeating your enemy once and for all, when suddenly… “Lunch time!” And…all hope is lost. And all glorious thoughts are rudely escorted out of the premises of your poor mind. And now, you have to stop what you’re doing, sullenly get off your steed, and tell your until-now swo...

 Man: The Mystery of Existence By Owly, Owlore, and Owlorey. We, the Three Librarians, have read and contemplated the thought-provoking work, The Man Delusion, which was published in this very news agency. Though its arguments are creative, we believe that it is fundamentally flawed in its reasoning. Here follows a thorough refutation of Rodolpus's claims. His first paragraph makes the claim that there is no evidence for humans. This we know to be false. These "great annoying two-legged creatures" have done many things that are very, very complex. After all, we consider nests, burrows, and books to be things of complexity. The argument we can make is as follows: we make nests and burrows. Those "annoying two-legged creatures" make skyscrapers. Who is smarter? Rodolphus continues to say that "If man exists, then we would have to obey what he says." This may be correct, but it does not negate the existence of man. Rodolphus goes on to make a very legitim...

  The Man Delusion By Roldophus the Hound. June 24, 2024. Man, the hypothetical figure of allegories and popular legend, is an absurdly contradictory figure. Many well-meaning dogs claim that he has benevolent intentions, or even that he exists as a person. If one looks at the evidence, though, one sees that there is no evidence that man could exist. Why should he exist? After all, if he really did exist, one would have to obey what he says. Of course, when one tries to prove that man does not exist, and that those great annoying two-legged things are just natural phenomena, one runs into several difficulties. The first is plainly obvious: where did all these things normally attributed to man come from? Skyscrapers, airplanes, and worse have been used as evidence for an intelligence behind all of this. Of course, this is superstition. Why would a good man create leashes, bedtimes, and worse of all, baths? This argument is unanswerable by the so-called man believers. As suc...